The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Anyone who has had even the shortest conversation with me in the last month and a half knows that my life has been dominated by studying for the MCAT. First of all, I apologize for sounding like a half-crazed person who must obsessively mention the word MCAT every two minutes. But it really has been all I have to talk about. Well, I promise this will be one of the last times!
All that time payed off this Saturday when I took the real thing. In a small testing center in a strip mall in San Antonio, I tried to remember everything I crammed into my brain in the last 50 days. I definitely do no think I got anything near a perfect score, especially since that's impossible, but it wasn't a total disaster. There wasn't anything that caused me to have a break down, although there were a few that I had to guess completely.
The strangest thing about it is that as soon as I walked out of there, I couldn't remember anything I had just read. Maybe it's a defense mechanism and I'm repressing a horrible experience, but I really think not. I really believe that I got +/- 1 point from my last practice test score (it was a 36, it's my blog, I can brag if I want to!)
But I am really trying to push that confidence away because academics has given me my fair share of disappointments. I still remember the pain when I found out I did not get into Northwestern. I hadn't even considered the possibility, and I was devastated. It didn't help that I had a calculus test the next day. So I am trying to apply the lessons I learned to the MCAT. I am conditioning myself for anything above 30, with that score I can still get into Texas medical schools.
But I can't help dreaming about upper-tier schools like Emory and Columbia. The most exciting thing is that with an actual score, the idea of medical school is becoming a reality! I am so excited for future, and can't wait to see where this path will take me. But first, I must be ready for whatever score comes on March 1st.